The Gift of Marriage

Hi, my precious friends! I haven't posted anything in a while, so I figured now that life has slowed down a bit (summer breakkkkkkk, woohoo!!), I'll now have some more time to write, relax, and soak in sweet summertime.

Chad and I have now been married for a whole TWO months! :) It is still so surreal that we are married, as we waited what seemed like an eternity to become husband and wife, hehe. I am so thankful for the Lord's timing though; because I tell you what, His timing is seriously perfect. I don't know about you, but sometimes I get a really big head and think that I know a whole bunch and that I know what's best for me and when it's best for me. Thank the Lord that He sees it all when we only see a little, amen?

I wanted to take some time to reflect on this beautiful gift called marriage and a few things I've learned in the short time I've had the privilege to be a part of it. 

Here's a few fun things I've learned in the past two months:

1. You seriously get to have a sleepover every night with your best friend... who is a boy. (Obviously I've never had anything but girl sleepovers in my lifetime, so this whole husband sleepover thing is pretty legit. LOL)
2. Chad likes certain clothes folded a certain way (as do I), so it was funny trying to learn his way of folding. 
3. We now have kind of an unspoken rule that whoever cooks, the other does the cleaning (very good trade off in my opinion).
4. One is to never take out the trash without replacing the bag... cardinal rule (lol).
5. I like to make the bed every morning; Chad, on the other hand, does not. Large dilemma here, folks, I know, I know. :)
6. Chad likes to sleep with temperatures well below zero (ha, joking), but seriously, the man likes arctic-style sleeping conditions.
7. Groceries are expensive... Boo.
8. Sharing the remote has been surprisingly easy. I watch ESPN for him, and he watches HGTV for me, hehe. I just love those house hunting and remodeling shows!

You know, so many people told me and Chad that it would probably be a difficult transition for us to go from living at home with our parents/siblings to living with a spouse. I can honestly say, though, that our transition to married life has been incredibly seamless. We, of course, have differences and things to continuously learn about one another, but I am so thankful the Lord spent so many years preparing our hearts and lives to become one in Him under one household, one covenant. (All goes back to His perfect timing that I failed to see at times. Hallelujah He is in total control!) Without both of us fully committing to Jesus, I do believe the transition would have been difficult, but now the amazing part is that we each have a partner to help us along in this life.

I know earlier I listed some goofy things I've discovered in marriage, but during the last two months, I have truly realized something profound. Our marriage is not about me and Chad. It's not about what we want in this life or what we desire from one another. It's not about keeping the perfect home. It's not about raising our future children. It's not about having the perfect job. Though those things are important, the sole purpose of our marriage is to bring us closer to Jesus and to live a life fully devoted to furthering His Kingdom. That's it, y'all. It's about Jesus.

This beautiful gift of marriage He has entrusted us with was put in place to be a picture of His relationship with His Bride, the Church. So many times I think we get caught up in things that our seemingly good on the surface: our spouses, our jobs, our kids, our hobbies, etc. Now, are these things innately bad? Absolutely not. I believe according to Scripture that we are to embrace and enjoy each of these to the fullest, but the moment we let them distract us from seeking Jesus and making disciples, we have failed.

I recently read an amazing book entitled You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity by Francis and Lisa Chan. It was so eye-opening and truly enlightened me. I would highly recommend it not only for married couples but for engaged or dating couples, and singles, too. It is never too early to start preparing your heart and mind to have the right focus for marriage.

There were so many times when I would read a page, and the words would literally stop me in my tracks. They challenged me and truly helped me evaluate the purpose of not only my marriage, but also the purpose of my life. I'm not going to go into huge detail, but I did want to share five of my favorite points from the Chans. 

How to live your marriage (and your life) in light of eternity:

• "Eternal mindedness keeps us from silly arguments. There's no time to fight. We have better things to pursue than our interests. Too much is at stake! God created us for a purpose. We can't afford to waste our lives. We can't afford to waste our marriage by merely pursuing our own happiness." Spouses, marriage, love. They all point to the brilliance of Jesus who created them all; therefore, if we live in light of eternity, all of these things will draw us closer to Jesus. 

• "The gap between our love for God and our love for our spouse should be massive. The two are not worthy of being compared. We normally order our affections like the first list, when the second list on is the Biblical mandate."

1. God
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Work 
5. Possessions

__________________________________________________________________________

1. God

     2.  Family, Friends, Work, Possessions

Consider your heart now. What is your first love? What do you pray for? What do you meditate on? We were created by Him and for His glory.

• "Christ came so that we could 'have life and have it more abundantly' (John 10:19). When we are filled with His abundant life, we overflow. We have plenty to give others. That is how marriage is supposed to work: we find our identity and fulfillment in Christ, we fill to overflowing with the fruit of the Spirit, and then we pour that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness onto our spouses. He fills us up so much that we don't complain that others aren't meeting our needs. He gives us more good than we can handle. We spend our lives blessing others with the blessings we receive."

• "Beautiful people make beautiful marriages. Jesus is the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth. Your best shot at having a beautiful marriage is if both of you make it your goal to become like Jesus. While husbands are told specifically to love like Christ loved, Jesus is the standard for every believer. When we both make it our goal to love each other with the love of Christ, the conflicts we have regarding roles and responsibilities dissipate."

• "Peter says that a person can become 'so nearsighted that he is blind' (2 Peter 1:8). We are capable of getting so focused on temporary things that we become blind to the things that actually matter. It's crazy how a flat tire can cause you to forget about your future inheritance, eternal security, and the grace that God is going to pour out on you for all eternity. We quickly lose the joy of our salvation and future glory because of something so temporary. We become focused on the here and now. It's not that we shouldn't pay attention to the obvious problems before us, but we need to look at them with an eternal lens. And we can't let anything rob us of our joy."

I hope these words have helped and inspired you as much as they did for me, my friends. I am for sure not an expert on this gift of marriage we've been given, but I plan to spend the rest of my life living with abandon for my Creator, doing everything possible to further His Kingdom, and enjoying walking through this life with Chad reaching as many lives as we can. 

My prayer is that we all take hold of the life-giving gift of salvation and that we accept the grace that's poured out on us daily. I pray that we live in light of eternity and, as a result, that we live and love in our marriages with the excellence that can only come from Above. 

Love & Blessings, 

Claire

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